Tribe: On Homecoming and Belonging by Sebastian Junger
My rating: 2 of 5 stars
“’Whether…civilization has most promoted or most injured the general happiness of man is a question that may be strongly contested’’…”’[Both] the most affluent and the most miserable of the human race are to be found in the countries that are called civilized.’”
“Humans don’t mind hardship, in fact they thrive on it; what they mind is not feeling necessary. Modern society has perfected the art of making people not feel necessary.”
“’In effect, humans have dragged a body with a long hominid history into an overfed, malnourished, sedentary, sunlight-deficient, sleep-deprived, competitive, inequitable, and socially-isolating environment with dire consequences.’”
“’We are not good to each other. Our tribalism is to an extremely narrow group of people, our children, our spouse, maybe our parents. Our society is alienating, technical, cold, and mystifying. Our fundamental desire, as human beings, is to be close to others, and our society does not allow for that.’”
Tribe is about how our Western society could be doing a lot better. It talked about tribal societies and the good of the group over the individual. Sacrifice and thinking of shared humanity versus differences was a huge topic. Also, how disaster and war bringing people together could have its benefits. This was a nonfiction book that was critical of our world today especially in Europe and the US. It was interlaced with anecdotes and stories from various people on their feelings and thoughts on hardship, mental health, and the common good. It talks about how modern society doesn’t have the common good in mind and can create a host of problems as a trade off for the good things.
Sebastian Junger wrote this book. I am not sure how I feel about it to be honest. There were some viewpoints that were put forth that I found a little iffy. The first thing was how he referred to Indigenous People as Indians or American Indians and how he used the term civilization as an opposing descriptive word. It felt very antiquated and made me a little uncomfortable throughout the book. It is as if Indigenous People can only be talked about in relation to the USA or what we deem as modern society. They were here first. I question statements like “Virtually all of the Indian tribes…practiced deeply sickening forms of torture.” Some things I did find agreeable were his conversation around billionaires and the negatives of our current way of living. Sebastian wrote about modern society creating more mental health issues and “a desperate cycle of work, financial obligation, and more work.” I think his main point was how we have gotten so individualistic and materialistic instead of focusing on the common good with a tribal mentality. People can survive by themselves now instead of relying on a group for food and protection but it can create loneliness. “Financial independence can lead to isolation, and isolation can put people at a greatly increased risk of depression and suicide.” The part around how we put extrinsic values ahead of intrinsic was interesting. The three basic things humans need to be content are a “need to feel competent at what they do; they need to feel authentic in their lives; and they need to feel connected to others.” Another topic I was ambivalent about was the dishonesty and fraud portion. He talked about how people cheat social welfare programs but also talked about how people and corporations get away with it. There was no accountability for the collapse in 2008 and companies getting bailouts were still giving out bonuses. In modern society, it is easier to get away with dishonesty whereas in the past with smaller tribes it could spell disaster for the group. We tend to put business ahead of humanity. The author also talked a lot about war and disasters. One quote I liked a lot when referring to a war between France and Britain where a lighthouse was proposed to be destroyed. “’Sir,’ an English admiral reminded the king, ‘we are at war with the French, not the entire human race.’” Some people are good and think bigger than themselves. He then goes on to talk about PTSD and how people can fake it but that we don’t take care of veterans like we should. This part was hard for me to grasp his point. He also talked about the United States in particular at the end. How we have such contempt and critiques of our fellow citizens. It was a fair argument. We are pitted against each other. Lastly, the thing I noticed about halfway through reading was the fact that he put a picture of himself on the cover. Not very representative of the common good or tribe mentality. This is exactly the type of book to read if you want to shake your head in disagreement and frustration but also nod your head in agreement and hope every couple of pages.
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Tag: mental health
Secret Secrets And The Lack Of Intrigue
“With our thoughts, we create the world.”
“’The human mind hates change…and the mind despises abandoning existing beliefs.’”
“’The right book at the right time can save your life.’”
The Secret of Secrets reunites us with Robert Langdon. This time he has a love interest with potential and the main topic deals with the mind. The story takes place mainly in Prague with a little bit in London and New York. It all starts with a brilliant scientist, her studies, and her manuscript. There are powerful forces involved, who will stop at nothing to prevent people from discovering a secret and letting the world in on this powerful knowledge. Robert Langdon finds himself opening his mind and willing to look at things with a new perspective. He is racing against a shadowy organization to prevent more deaths and save himself in the process. Will he be able to save the one he loves or will the clandestine forces succeed in silencing everyone, permanently?
I was so excited when I heard that a new Robert Langdon was being released. I loved the earlier books and I flew through those. I was so engrossed in them that I could not put them down. This time around I felt somewhat similarly but not close to the extent as before. I did want to keep reading and find out what was going on though. Dan Brown does have a way with creating suspense and enticing the reader to keep turning the page. He is a very entertaining author. However, this time around I felt a little let down. I didn’t like the Golem character as it was too “out there” for me. I am all about fantasy and sci-fi and mythology but not in this realistic context. It just didn’t fit for me. One thing I have always liked about Robert Langdon books was the puzzles, history, and secrets but I found that severely lacking in this book. I enjoy topics like when Langdon was thinking to himself about the usage and difference between the Rod of Asclepius and the caduceus. I also felt that this book didn’t have as much thought put into it. It felt rushed and lazy. I didn’t think of it before but there were several reused tropes like the protagonists being chased by a bad cop, a separate character (turns out to be connected) doing a lot of the dirty work, and a female that is right there alongside to help. It is also a little hard to believe after everything that Robert has been through that he wouldn’t be more skeptical and cautious. He just runs off without even thinking things through. It seems uncharacteristic. Some things I could see coming from a mile away too. A few things I predicted including the deciphering of a clue. I also felt that there were unrealistic scenes like pausing to just talk in an alcove while being chased by a madman. There was some interesting real-life information like experiments and theories that were referenced. I found these fascinating topics like retrocasuality, fractals, TMT, and habituation filtering throughout. I am just more interested in history, buildings, groups, and myths than the science, even though it can be very fascinating. There were some scary things brought up in this book too like In-Q-Tel. Who watches the watchers? Fun that the ambassador drives the same car as me! The word play on a specific page was so enjoyable! “Abomination of indolence…not only adroit, it brings propitious consolation.” I did find the name of this book a little pompous but describing the internet as a kind of nonlocal consciousness and the last page describing the Statue of Liberty was pretty cool. This is exactly the type of book that I would read just to complete the series.
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Self-Doubt, Self-Hatred, And The Heavy Lies Of Tomorrow
The Elephant in the Room: One Fat Man’s Quest to Get Smaller in a Growing America by Tommy Tomlinson
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
“What do I need to be happy that makes the slow struggle of losing weight worth it?”
The Elephant in the Room is an inspirational tale written by Tommy Tomlinson about Tommy Tomlinson. It recounts his journey to lose weight over a year with each chapter touching on his past as well as present. He grew up in the south and talks about how that affected his relationship with food. Family and friends are brought in. He recounts his wins and war with obesity. He is a writer and puts together this fabulous narrative which is a book I will buy for my shelves.
I haven’t related to a book more than I did with this one. It felt like this book was specifically for me or about me or could have been written by me. It was like he was in my brain, thinking my thoughts as often what I “feel is sadness over how much life I’ve wasted” and that “I’ve missed out on so many adventures, so many good times, because I was too fat to try…I’ve never believed I could do anything truly great, because I’ve failed so many times at the one crucial challenge in my life.” I flagged and took notes on so many different parts of this book. As a person who has struggled with my weight for years, it was a raw, honest, and hard look at the pain that accompanies being obese. In my mind I know that my food choices aren’t good or healthy but “the thing that soothes the pain prolongs it. The thing that brings me back to life pushes me closer to the grave.” It was intimate and real. Tommy talks about his love of food and how he used it to cope with emotions. This book was an emotional read for me. I teared up a few times. “Telling a fat person Eat less and exercise is like telling a boxer Don’t get hit. You cat as if there’s not an opponent.” He calls out America and its culture of salt, sugar, and fat. He talks about the marketing geared towards getting us to buy and consume junk. He does then acknowledge that the weight problem is his own doing. He cannot blame anyone else. He is an adult and must start acting like one. He cannot act like a kid and need instant gratification. There are conversations with family and friends about what their thoughts are on his weight. He thinks about how everything affects those closest to him. “My weight affects everything I do.” People who haven’t struggled do not get it. Just like Tommy, every time I go to sit in a chair I wonder if it will hold me or if I will embarrass myself. He highlights the connection between mental health and his battle with eating. The self-doubt and self-hate are very real. You can tell that he is a writer as he can put together a great metaphor, especially when talking about how his actions contribute to his health. He nailed the lie that the tomorrow lie is the worst one. He wanted to survive and not waste his years. It is a journey, a long one, but he has started it.
Some additional quotes that really resonated with me…”I want to do great things, but I don’t want any of it to feel like work” and “making a fundamental change of any kind is the hardest thing an adult human being can do.”
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Search Inside Yourself
I was loaned this book by my counselor as I have been struggling with a mind on full speed constantly. I have thought of doing meditation for a long time but I haven’t had the discipline to stick with it or form habits. I think it would help me to calm my mind and not let it spiral out of control. My brain is constantly full of moving thoughts throughout the day and it is not helpful. I ruminate on negative thoughts about myself and others. I conjecture. I invent conversations. I ascribe meaning without knowing.
One thing that I have always struggled with when reading self-help books is that a lot forget to start at Step 0. They go right to “work towards your goals” and “find something dealing with your passion” but they never address the precursor. How does one figure out what they are passionate about or what their values are? That is something I have always found frustrating and this book somewhat addressed this concern. It didn’t speak to it head on but I think skirted around it. With the techniques discussed throughout the book I think one could start to learn to understand oneself.
This book helps explain the benefits of mediation as well communication, kindness, and empathy. Throughout the entire time I was reading I was thinking that I would love to be able to train my mind in all the topics covered. I think it would benefit me greatly and I would be less stressed, bitter, angry, and depressed. It will take some time and work but it will be beneficial. And not just for me but for everyone I interact with. My friends. My co-workers. Strangers.
Chade-Meng Tan wrote is such a way that was relatable, and I was engaged while reading. It threw in humor and real-life examples. It was a little overwhelming with all the things to work on but it provides something to work towards if one wants to improve themselves. It is a valiant and worthy goal for anyone to endeavor. It was based on a course within Google so it definitely has a corporate tint but the approach is from an individual level. It can apply equally as well to a person, family, team, or company. His goal is a noble one.
I have started with short mediation sessions the last few days and I hope to continue with it. I will pursue greater understanding and knowledge regarding these topics. I will get more comfortable with it and learn to calm my mind. I will learn not to let my emotions rule me and to give people the benefit of the doubt. I know I am starting late in life but I really hope to take what I have learned and apply it in my everyday life.
I read the loaned copy but I ended up buying my own. I think this will be a good book to have around to reference whenever you need a refresher but for me especially, to learn and stick with it. I highly recommend giving it a try and like it is said in the book, work towards world peace. As of now I am just trying to work towards my own happiness but it is a place to start.