The Elephant in the Room: One Fat Man’s Quest to Get Smaller in a Growing America by Tommy Tomlinson
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
“What do I need to be happy that makes the slow struggle of losing weight worth it?”
The Elephant in the Room is an inspirational tale written by Tommy Tomlinson about Tommy Tomlinson. It recounts his journey to lose weight over a year with each chapter touching on his past as well as present. He grew up in the south and talks about how that affected his relationship with food. Family and friends are brought in. He recounts his wins and war with obesity. He is a writer and puts together this fabulous narrative which is a book I will buy for my shelves.
I haven’t related to a book more than I did with this one. It felt like this book was specifically for me or about me or could have been written by me. It was like he was in my brain, thinking my thoughts as often what I “feel is sadness over how much life I’ve wasted” and that “I’ve missed out on so many adventures, so many good times, because I was too fat to try…I’ve never believed I could do anything truly great, because I’ve failed so many times at the one crucial challenge in my life.” I flagged and took notes on so many different parts of this book. As a person who has struggled with my weight for years, it was a raw, honest, and hard look at the pain that accompanies being obese. In my mind I know that my food choices aren’t good or healthy but “the thing that soothes the pain prolongs it. The thing that brings me back to life pushes me closer to the grave.” It was intimate and real. Tommy talks about his love of food and how he used it to cope with emotions. This book was an emotional read for me. I teared up a few times. “Telling a fat person Eat less and exercise is like telling a boxer Don’t get hit. You cat as if there’s not an opponent.” He calls out America and its culture of salt, sugar, and fat. He talks about the marketing geared towards getting us to buy and consume junk. He does then acknowledge that the weight problem is his own doing. He cannot blame anyone else. He is an adult and must start acting like one. He cannot act like a kid and need instant gratification. There are conversations with family and friends about what their thoughts are on his weight. He thinks about how everything affects those closest to him. “My weight affects everything I do.” People who haven’t struggled do not get it. Just like Tommy, every time I go to sit in a chair I wonder if it will hold me or if I will embarrass myself. He highlights the connection between mental health and his battle with eating. The self-doubt and self-hate are very real. You can tell that he is a writer as he can put together a great metaphor, especially when talking about how his actions contribute to his health. He nailed the lie that the tomorrow lie is the worst one. He wanted to survive and not waste his years. It is a journey, a long one, but he has started it.
Some additional quotes that really resonated with me…”I want to do great things, but I don’t want any of it to feel like work” and “making a fundamental change of any kind is the hardest thing an adult human being can do.”
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Tag: life
A Slicing Piece Of Commentary And Heartfelt Musings On Love
Knife: Meditations After an Attempted Murder by Salman Rushdie
My rating: 4 of 5 stars
Knife relays the brutal attack on Salman Rushdie in 2022, the journey afterwards, and the history behind his experience with hatred. It recounts in detail the multiple stabbings, his road to recovery, and the love and support he received from those closest to him as well as from around the world. It is a book about love and survival. The author, Salman Rushdie himself, conveys what he was going through after the release of The Satanic Verses and how it kept going throughout the years culminating with this attack. There is a greater message about religion, violence, and freedom of speech that is presented alongside the minutiae of Salman’s life.
I have not read any of Salman Rushdie’s works before, so this was my introduction and man, can he write. I loved his turn of phrases and how he wrote in such a relatable way. He would write about normal everyday things like using the bathroom or writing or going out to dinner. Each wound/body part that was violated was talked about and each felt like its own epic tale. You would think describing all the medical stuff would be boring but it is not. It is so vivid and real. I loved his use of knife and cutting metaphors as well. He wielded them well such as when “the knife had severed me from my world” and “language, too, was a knife.” He used language in a quotidian way but made it sound beautiful and insightful like describing his eye as “an absence with an immensely powerful presence.” The book had moments of humor and levity interspersed amongst the horror of the attack. “I’m here because of a knife attack, but let’s check the prostate, sure.” The writing was raw and I got emotional at points. Relating the reactions of his family and those that loved him was heartbreaking. Shock and sadness were the ones that showed up in myself most often. References to pop culture like the Mandalorian are sprinkled throughout as well. He focuses on this one extreme event but conveys everyday living while nodding to big-picture life and humanity. Those grandiose topics are brought in seamlessly and tied closely to certain aspects of the story. For example, talking about the best and worst of humanity on display in one single situation or how freedom of speech is under attack. He brings huge topics and distills them beautifully. Salman Rushdie is a storyteller and this came through even in this nonfiction work. I cannot wait to read some of his other work.
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An Idyllic Story Of Bees And Uplifting Self-Reflection
The Music of Bees by Eileen Garvin
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
The Music of Bees is about 3 people and how their lives interweave. It takes place in an idyllic setting in Oregon near a river and lots of nature. You get splendid descriptions of the verdant scenery, white-capped waters, and the sentinel mountains. Jake is an 18-year-old boy who had an accident, Harry is an aimless mid-20s guy, and Alice is a forty-something year-old woman who keeps bees as a hobby. You get to meet them individually first, learn some backstory, and then move through their meeting. You get to learn about bees and how the unexpected can happen to change your life.
I loved this novel. There were so many things that worked well and Eileen Garvin set the right tone from the very beginning. Oh boy, can she write a sentence! I just felt love and full of warmth while reading. It was like sitting on the porch on a warm, spring day with a nice breeze while drinking some lemonade and having a chat with your oldest friend. The characters were so relatable. I found something of myself in each of the three main protagonists including feeling the need to change (and not knowing how), forging a new path, and regret. What would my life look like if I made different decisions in the past or even in the present? The language that was used and the phrasing of the words helped to create a strong sense of what each character was going through. Speaking of a young person and not having the words to describe something but then he “shouldn’t have to have the words” or “in that moment, he felt broken in a way that could not be undone.” Eileen wrote beautifully and evoked anger in me with the dad and corporate greed overriding morals. I could literally feel my chest tighten. This novel had a lot of things to say around lessons but was able to do it disguised in the general telling of the stories. You can learn to stand up for yourself. You don’t have to let your past decide who you are or where you are going. You can make your own decisions and change if you don’t like something. The Music of Bees resonated with me and this sentence hit hardest, “why was Harry a passenger in the vehicle that was his life?” What am I doing?
Read this.
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My Favorite Novel Ever And Being Overcome With Emotion
The Heart’s Invisible Furies by John Boyne
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
I absolutely loved this novel. I cannot think of one that I have loved as much as this one ever, so this might be my favorite novel of all time. I felt this immediate draw to pick it back up every time that I set it down. The Heart’s Invisible Furies is undeniably powerful, funny, and devastating. It is poignant, consuming, and clever. I cannot say enough good words about it. There aren’t enough good words to describe it. I would say that I am speechless but all I want to do is sing all the praises from the highest of the mountains so that everyone can hear. Even before the actual story starts it provides a chuckle but the actual story begins in Ireland in the 1940s with a woman who found herself in an unwed, pregnant situation and was forced to leave her hometown. She meets a guy on the way to Dublin and ends up living with him for a short bit until a tragic and joyous event occurs. The book actually follows her son and provides a detailed account of his life over the next 70 or so years. I have such an affinity for Cyril, the son. I saw myself so deeply in him, I felt such a connection, that it could have been me living that life. The characters were so well developed that I had no trouble identifying or remembering them. The picture was painted with such clarity and detail. I was hooked from the first sentence and it just continued from there. What a first chapter! It sunk its hooks into me quickly and deeply. I also loved how this book was structured. It is an epic tale as it traverses multiple countries and decades. You are immersed in the time and characters as if you were there. John Boyne is one of the best writers I have ever read. I don’t think I have read anything by him thus far, but I cannot wait to see what else is out there. He has this way of hinting and nodding to something but not outright saying it, that makes you feel in on a secret that only the two of you know. His use of context is superb. It is subtle but it fills you with quiet glee. He also has this unbelievable artistry to weave connections throughout, from the first chapter to the last. It is done with such grace and elegance that you don’t see it coming. It comes out of left field but it is so realistic. It is like it was inevitable. I would stop in my tracks and then I would just sigh at how right it felt. There are plenty of moments that left me gobsmacked with my mouth held agape in shock. I had to look around, even if I was alone, wondering who else was flabbergasted by what was on the page. I wanted to discuss in whispers what just occurred. Furies was also a riot. I found myself laughing out loud, so hard. I would even get myself to laugh just thinking about it when I set the book down. There is so much witty repartee. The quips, asides, and comebacks are plentiful that sometimes I could not handle it. My stomach hurt and I had tears from how clever the writing was. For example, “turning to her with all the warmth of Lizzie Borden dropping in to say goodnight to her parents.” There were also plenty of gut-wrenching and devastating moments that left me helpless and in tears as well. I had to stop reading at some points because I couldn’t see the words through my tears. They were dripping down my face. At times I couldn’t breathe because I was overcome with deep anguish. The overpouring of emotions that this novel can evoke in a person are mind-blowing. I have never had such a reaction to the written word that I felt throughout my body, ever in my life. It is the most human book. I smile and laugh, become wistful and melancholy just thinking of the novel still. My inability to convey how breathtaking and powerful this novel was, devastates me. This is my favorite novel ever.
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Relatable Reading Book For Readers and Avoiding Social Situations
So Many Books, So Little Time: A Year of Passionate Reading by Sara Nelson
My rating: 4 of 5 stars
“Hell hath no fury like an expectant reader scorned.” So Many Books, So Little Time was about the author and her year of books. She sets off with a list of books she wants to get to and she incorporates her everyday life in this task. She comes from the publishing world and has some great insights as a reader. It delves into her past, her relationship to books/reading, and how books/reading interact with her world. It was so relatable and funny. I found myself taking tons of notes and nodding my head in agreement many times. Her humor is very witty and observational. Sara Nelson relates bookish topics to and extrapolates on them in ways that are fresh and interesting. For example, she introduces me to the term double booking (I am familiar with doing it just not the term) and relates it to the famous Woody Allen quote on bisexuality. I smiled a ton as she accurately touches on the experience of choosing what book to read & the feeling of not having one with you, lending books to friends, resisting reading something that is popular & being touted as a must read, and rereading books. I tied together her thoughts on looking to be surprised when reading and reading a book before watching the movie. It has to do with coming to my own conclusions on the interpretations of the characters and story before being told what it should be by a director or reviews. Sara tells this heartwarming story about reading Charlotte’s Web with her kid and how it was a moment of connection with her past and present. And the very next chapter talks about erotic books and adult topics/actions. I did not expect that and I loved it. One thing I struggle with and currently have a different view on is putting down a book if it is not working for you. I have a hard time abandoning a book. I want to add it to my read list. Hence, “the people I love and the person I am-are not normal: we’re book people.” To finish with something to remember, “not only is reading a distracting during difficult times…but it’s a highly socially respectable means of social avoidance.” Get your read on!
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Life is Short And How to Make it Shorter So You Don’t Have to Read This
Life Is Short: An Appropriately Brief Guide to Making It More Meaningful by Dean Rickles
My rating: 1 of 5 stars
Well, this book is about the shortness of life I guess. I know at several points while reading I wished my life was a lot shorter. It was supposed to convey how to approach life realizing that death and limitations were a good thing. It allows humans to be intentional about how we live our life as our decisions actually mean something. “Limit gives birth to freedom.” There were some good one liners and advice that I captured but I have heard it explained elsewhere and in a much easier to swallow pill. I also found that there were tons of quoting others. It ruined the flow and made me think what thoughts did the author contribute. This read like a textbook from a highly pretentious college. It was very, very dense and difficult to read. I struggled and rolled my eyes multiple times. Some days I could only read a couple pages before I had to step away. Dean Rickles was unnecessarily lofty and his prose was meandering. I also question some of his beliefs around religion and that without humans the universe would be pointless. I don’t want to spend any additional time thinking about this book as it has already taken too much of my life. Do not read. Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkeman is a thousand times better than Life is Short.
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Zen Affirmation Repetition and A Must Read For Billionaires
The Zen Monkey and the Lotus Flower: 52 Stories to Relieve Stress, Stop Negative Thoughts, Find Happiness, and Live Your Best Life by Tenpa Yeshe
My rating: 3 of 5 stars
This is a collection of parables about how to approach living your life. It provides guiding principles and meditations on improving your mindset. There are 52 stories, which is perfect for reading one a week. I don’t think this was meant to be read in like a few sittings, front to back. I think it would have a bigger impact and make more sense to choose one to read at the start of the week. This would be a good book to have as reference material so that when you are preparing for the day or need a pick me up you can just grab it and find a story that would apply to your present situation. It has some helpful and useful guiding thoughts, but it does not have any new mind-blowing reveals. It is wisdom that we have all heard before but it is nice to hear it again. The stories are cute and they frame it in a way that helps it sink in. I did end up taking many notes. However, there were a couple things that bugged me. First, there is a lot of repetition regarding the topics. More than one story revolved around being one with nature, gratitude, letting go, change, and being in the present moment. Granted, it might help to hammer home the points, and this highlights the fact that reading a story a week would be the way to go but it caused some eye-rolling. Even some of the names of characters repeated in different stories. Also, there were some rehashing of story beginnings. Tons of characters were dissatisfied or restless. There might have been a type or complete nonsense in one story. I think there is one huge takeaway that can sum up how to go forth from this book. “It is in our hands to shape ourselves and determine who we really want to be.” I think this should be a must read for billionaires and people in power.
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The Existence As a Jellyfish and Other Poignant Ways To Survive Life
The Diving Bell and the Butterfly: A Memoir of Life in Death by Jean-Dominique Bauby
My rating: 4 of 5 stars
This is the story of Jean-Dominique Bauby in his own words. It is sad but incredible how the book actually got written and learning about what he had to endure. It covers the time he spent in hospital as well the day it all happened. It is a short book with short chapters. You are able to quickly get through it but there is something that makes you want to slow down and really try and understand what is being described. When reading I totally forgot that he was French and that this was taking place in France until the communication system was outlined. It is amazing what he was able to convey with only his left eye. His writing comes across beautifully. He evokes a sense of longing and sadness but doesn’t come across in a woe-is-me way. Jean-Dominique is funny and witty such as when he states “his communication system disqualifies repartee” and “not only was I…reduced to the existence of a jellyfish.” He doesn’t take himself too seriously and allows the reader to reflect on his use of his imagination when his “mind takes flight like a butterfly.” The title that gets sprinkled throughout is poignant and uplifting. His reflections point the readers to enjoy the little everyday moments or “gusts of happiness”. The Diving Bell and the Butterfly allows the reader to slow down and absorb how life could change in a moment.
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