Breathe In, Bleed Out by Brian McAuley
My rating: 4 of 5 stars
“I’ve got way too many red flags to ever want to date me.”
“Religion is just another way that humans desperately try to control the chaos of reality…society is failing us all.”
“’Not every experience needs to be captured. It’s important to remember that your first love was the sound itself, not a secondhand recording.’”
“My friends’ behavior is not my responsibility.”
Breathe In, Bleed Out is about a woman who is still reeling from the death of her fiancé. This tragedy happened in the wilderness when they were on a hike but no one knows the true story. Hannah is barely getting through life. She is meeting with a psychiatrist that is prescribing mediation. She messes up at work and is forced to take some time off. Her best friend, Tess, that Hannah has been blowing off shows up for her birthday and then invites her on this retreat. Hannah eventually caves and decides to go but what they encounter is beyond what anyone would think. They are unsure of Guru Pax and what he is promoting. No one knows what to make of his assistant Kimi. This group of friends are in for a murderous weekend. Who will survive? Will Hannah heal? Who is doing this?
Right off the bat I love the cover! It reminds me of old comics or horror films. And I love the title too. Every time I read the title I just sang “Breathe In, Bleed Out” to the tune of Machinehead by Bush. It is a great title! Brian McAuley wrote a damn good book. You can see some influences from other movies clearly but it felt like it was done in an authentic way and not just a carbon copy. The dedication which went “For those who found release and those still seeking it” spoke to me. I liked how it could mean many different things but also was hopeful. Everyone is on their own journey, including with their mental health. The first sentence “Dragging a body through six inches of snow is even harder than I expected” grabs you and makes you want to keep reading. It was well written. The characters were well defined and I actually cared about some of them. Miles was a DJ and did EDM shows which I connected with because I love EDM and I am thinking of starting to learn to create some tracks of my own. Some of them though were typical assholes that you wanted to see get their comeuppance. This thought attributed to one of the characters made me pause and reflect, maybe I think this too but I never really thought about it before. It was around how “graveyards were a sentimental waste of precious natural space that should be filled with life instead.” Imagine what we could do with that space. Hmm. The author did write some wonderfully evocative lines including, “I was just about ready to crawl into an empty grave myself, pull the dirt over me and call it a life.” I have definitely had similar thoughts before but I never heard it articulated so well. The book had some funny moments too. One that involved being thirsty and another with a big snake. Towards the beginning there were some descriptions of the environment, and I thought that someone was going to die in that way. I was right! Well almost, because there was a twist I didn’t see coming and it was awesome! Other death scenes were gruesome and pretty cool. I was squirming. One thing I didn’t like about this book, and it is not unique to this book, is the reliance on drugs or alcohol to give the character flaws or to create unreliability. To me, it is a little lazy but I guess it does reflect reality for some. It is not the fault of this book but another storytelling technique that is used involves dreams and hallucinations, but the audience doesn’t know it at the time. I dislike these immensely and there was a part like this in the book. I am not sure about the ending. I don’t know if I like who the killer turned out to be. I am still wrestling with that, but it wasn’t an immediate OMG WTF in a bad way. I haven’t decided yet. I didn’t write down any words that stood out to me. This is exactly the type of book to read if you are a fan of horror.
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Tag: good
The Common Good And The Failings Of Modern Society
Tribe: On Homecoming and Belonging by Sebastian Junger
My rating: 2 of 5 stars
“’Whether…civilization has most promoted or most injured the general happiness of man is a question that may be strongly contested’’…”’[Both] the most affluent and the most miserable of the human race are to be found in the countries that are called civilized.’”
“Humans don’t mind hardship, in fact they thrive on it; what they mind is not feeling necessary. Modern society has perfected the art of making people not feel necessary.”
“’In effect, humans have dragged a body with a long hominid history into an overfed, malnourished, sedentary, sunlight-deficient, sleep-deprived, competitive, inequitable, and socially-isolating environment with dire consequences.’”
“’We are not good to each other. Our tribalism is to an extremely narrow group of people, our children, our spouse, maybe our parents. Our society is alienating, technical, cold, and mystifying. Our fundamental desire, as human beings, is to be close to others, and our society does not allow for that.’”
Tribe is about how our Western society could be doing a lot better. It talked about tribal societies and the good of the group over the individual. Sacrifice and thinking of shared humanity versus differences was a huge topic. Also, how disaster and war bringing people together could have its benefits. This was a nonfiction book that was critical of our world today especially in Europe and the US. It was interlaced with anecdotes and stories from various people on their feelings and thoughts on hardship, mental health, and the common good. It talks about how modern society doesn’t have the common good in mind and can create a host of problems as a trade off for the good things.
Sebastian Junger wrote this book. I am not sure how I feel about it to be honest. There were some viewpoints that were put forth that I found a little iffy. The first thing was how he referred to Indigenous People as Indians or American Indians and how he used the term civilization as an opposing descriptive word. It felt very antiquated and made me a little uncomfortable throughout the book. It is as if Indigenous People can only be talked about in relation to the USA or what we deem as modern society. They were here first. I question statements like “Virtually all of the Indian tribes…practiced deeply sickening forms of torture.” Some things I did find agreeable were his conversation around billionaires and the negatives of our current way of living. Sebastian wrote about modern society creating more mental health issues and “a desperate cycle of work, financial obligation, and more work.” I think his main point was how we have gotten so individualistic and materialistic instead of focusing on the common good with a tribal mentality. People can survive by themselves now instead of relying on a group for food and protection but it can create loneliness. “Financial independence can lead to isolation, and isolation can put people at a greatly increased risk of depression and suicide.” The part around how we put extrinsic values ahead of intrinsic was interesting. The three basic things humans need to be content are a “need to feel competent at what they do; they need to feel authentic in their lives; and they need to feel connected to others.” Another topic I was ambivalent about was the dishonesty and fraud portion. He talked about how people cheat social welfare programs but also talked about how people and corporations get away with it. There was no accountability for the collapse in 2008 and companies getting bailouts were still giving out bonuses. In modern society, it is easier to get away with dishonesty whereas in the past with smaller tribes it could spell disaster for the group. We tend to put business ahead of humanity. The author also talked a lot about war and disasters. One quote I liked a lot when referring to a war between France and Britain where a lighthouse was proposed to be destroyed. “’Sir,’ an English admiral reminded the king, ‘we are at war with the French, not the entire human race.’” Some people are good and think bigger than themselves. He then goes on to talk about PTSD and how people can fake it but that we don’t take care of veterans like we should. This part was hard for me to grasp his point. He also talked about the United States in particular at the end. How we have such contempt and critiques of our fellow citizens. It was a fair argument. We are pitted against each other. Lastly, the thing I noticed about halfway through reading was the fact that he put a picture of himself on the cover. Not very representative of the common good or tribe mentality. This is exactly the type of book to read if you want to shake your head in disagreement and frustration but also nod your head in agreement and hope every couple of pages.
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