The Elephant in the Room: One Fat Man’s Quest to Get Smaller in a Growing America by Tommy Tomlinson
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
“What do I need to be happy that makes the slow struggle of losing weight worth it?”
The Elephant in the Room is an inspirational tale written by Tommy Tomlinson about Tommy Tomlinson. It recounts his journey to lose weight over a year with each chapter touching on his past as well as present. He grew up in the south and talks about how that affected his relationship with food. Family and friends are brought in. He recounts his wins and war with obesity. He is a writer and puts together this fabulous narrative which is a book I will buy for my shelves.
I haven’t related to a book more than I did with this one. It felt like this book was specifically for me or about me or could have been written by me. It was like he was in my brain, thinking my thoughts as often what I “feel is sadness over how much life I’ve wasted” and that “I’ve missed out on so many adventures, so many good times, because I was too fat to try…I’ve never believed I could do anything truly great, because I’ve failed so many times at the one crucial challenge in my life.” I flagged and took notes on so many different parts of this book. As a person who has struggled with my weight for years, it was a raw, honest, and hard look at the pain that accompanies being obese. In my mind I know that my food choices aren’t good or healthy but “the thing that soothes the pain prolongs it. The thing that brings me back to life pushes me closer to the grave.” It was intimate and real. Tommy talks about his love of food and how he used it to cope with emotions. This book was an emotional read for me. I teared up a few times. “Telling a fat person Eat less and exercise is like telling a boxer Don’t get hit. You cat as if there’s not an opponent.” He calls out America and its culture of salt, sugar, and fat. He talks about the marketing geared towards getting us to buy and consume junk. He does then acknowledge that the weight problem is his own doing. He cannot blame anyone else. He is an adult and must start acting like one. He cannot act like a kid and need instant gratification. There are conversations with family and friends about what their thoughts are on his weight. He thinks about how everything affects those closest to him. “My weight affects everything I do.” People who haven’t struggled do not get it. Just like Tommy, every time I go to sit in a chair I wonder if it will hold me or if I will embarrass myself. He highlights the connection between mental health and his battle with eating. The self-doubt and self-hate are very real. You can tell that he is a writer as he can put together a great metaphor, especially when talking about how his actions contribute to his health. He nailed the lie that the tomorrow lie is the worst one. He wanted to survive and not waste his years. It is a journey, a long one, but he has started it.
Some additional quotes that really resonated with me…”I want to do great things, but I don’t want any of it to feel like work” and “making a fundamental change of any kind is the hardest thing an adult human being can do.”
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