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The Existence As a Jellyfish and Other Poignant Ways To Survive Life

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly: A Memoir of Life in Death by Jean-Dominique Bauby

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


This is the story of Jean-Dominique Bauby in his own words. It is sad but incredible how the book actually got written and learning about what he had to endure. It covers the time he spent in hospital as well the day it all happened. It is a short book with short chapters. You are able to quickly get through it but there is something that makes you want to slow down and really try and understand what is being described. When reading I totally forgot that he was French and that this was taking place in France until the communication system was outlined. It is amazing what he was able to convey with only his left eye. His writing comes across beautifully. He evokes a sense of longing and sadness but doesn’t come across in a woe-is-me way. Jean-Dominique is funny and witty such as when he states “his communication system disqualifies repartee” and “not only was I…reduced to the existence of a jellyfish.” He doesn’t take himself too seriously and allows the reader to reflect on his use of his imagination when his “mind takes flight like a butterfly.” The title that gets sprinkled throughout is poignant and uplifting. His reflections point the readers to enjoy the little everyday moments or “gusts of happiness”. The Diving Bell and the Butterfly allows the reader to slow down and absorb how life could change in a moment.



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Hawthorne Is An Asshole And Other Manipulations

The Word is Murder by Anthony Horowitz

My rating: 3 of 5 stars


This book is about an ass of a detective and an easily manipulated writer with boundary issues. The writer is orchestrated into writing this book, as evident by the book in hand, and it follows an investigation into the death a woman who plans her funeral hours before her murder. We get a first-person account which allows the reader to join in on the adventure and the inner thoughts of the author. I really did enjoy the structure and concept behind the book. A writer writes about himself in a semi-fictional world, in which he creates this intriguing story but interweaves real people, shows, and movies. The name drops are cool and London is a great setting. It did interest me right away and I found it an easy read. It was quick and held my attention throughout. There were phrasings throughout that were teasing and playful which made me smirk. However, there were things that I definitely did not like. As mentioned above, in my opinion, the detective is an ass. He had only 1 redeeming quality and that was his intelligence and shrewdness (is that technically two?). Otherwise, he is a jerk who is manipulative and doesn’t care how he interjects himself into other people’s lives or how he affects others. He doesn’t even have the courtesy to pay for him own stuff. There are plenty of manipulative (on his account) behaviors and boundary issues (on both the main character’s part) in this book. The writer just can’t say no. As the reader, I can see it plain as day and I did not like it. There were also a couple discrepancies that bothered me and the common phrase in these novels that popped up, “I should have stopped.” There was one other characteristic that made me despise the detective, which I won’t mention so you can find out for yourself. Overall, it had some really good aspects and some aspects that really got under my skin. I will see what the next book in the series brings though.



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Intrigue, Codes, and Fun at Bletchley!

The Bletchley Riddle by Ruta Sepetys

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


This was a very fun read! I do start out a little annoyed by one of the characters. I get the typical precocious young person character, but I did find myself saying shut up and listen in my head once or twice. Maybe it is because I am getting older or something. She did grow on me, and I definitely found myself on her side through the remainder of the book though. The mystery of finding out the truth and following clues/riddles is a genre I like. Can I figure it out? Do I want to figure it out? Code breaking and the intelligence aspect is intriguing. It is a quick and enjoyable read. It kept me engaged and I wanted to keep going to find out what happens. I finished it within a day. The bones of the setting and story are based in truth including Bletchley Park and Alan Turing with World War II going on. I love when books do that. They add fictionalized elements to something historical that is interesting already. There were many topics I had to look up and get some more real-life information on including buildings and people. I love learning which is one reason I love to read. The sibling relationship was relatable and believable. There were several supporting characters who I enjoyed such as Colin, the local boy, and his mom. The author created a couple characters to create obstacles and it helped create tension. It is definitely a young reader novel but it is still worth it as an adult. It is easy and entertaining.



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The Charred Corpse Of An Overwritten Novel

The Book That Wouldn’t Burn by Mark Lawrence

My rating: 2 of 5 stars


I found this book to be overwritten, long, and convoluted. It was over complicated for no reason and it could be about 200 pages shorter. The writing should be more concise as the subject of a sentence was hard to identify in places. There were many connections made throughout the novel, harkening back to earlier moments but a majority didn’t have the impact that maybe the author thought they would. It was an ok cool reveal but many times I did not really care. There were several nods and winks to real world things which was cute as well as some phrases that struck me as thought provoking. I did take note of several while I was reading including “an ocean of knowledge is apt to drown you long before it educates you. The art of learning was in selection.” Many caused me to smile while reading. I also think there was too much left open and unresolved. There were too many things that didn’t have clear explanation, and it left me unsatisfied while reading. I like world building books but if they are drastically different than ours then some things need to pointed out directly. There was just too much that was invented that was left unsaid. I did like many of the characters and there were well developed as the main ones each felt distinct. I did like the little quotes before each chapter as well. There was a light pull to see what would happen next but I think it was more to do with searching for a reason why I was reading this tome versus dying to know what happened. Yes, this novel was about books and a library (which drew me to it) but I don’t think I would call it literary. The overall theme and concept was not clear and I don’t think I could really explain the point of the book. It wasn’t that big words were used but that the sentences were, at times, needlessly unclear. The Book That Wouldn’t Burn was a monumental undertaking that collapsed under its own weight. There was like this cloud was hanging around in my brain the entire time I was reading and I couldn’t get into it. While reading, I was not hit by any strong emotions including any reaction to what was pushed as a love story. It was almost like reading a textbook.



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Friendship.

What does friendship mean? Is it talking every single day? Is it checking in and seeing how things are going? Is it buying things for each other? I have been struggling lately with this concept of friendship.

It feels that I am the one who is maintaining these relationships and it is getting tiring. It seems unfair. I am bitter, angry, and frustrated. Can I call people friends if they never initiate conversation or hanging out? Sometimes I feel unseen or forgotten. I feel forgettable. For example, this has actually happened before, I am at a mutual gathering of a bunch of people and someone says to me that they miss me. I just smiled and nodded knowing full well that nothing will come of that statement. Have they reached out to me since? Have they asked to hang out? Nope. What am I to make of that? Are they lying? Do they mean it in that moment but then poof I am forgotten the moment I leave? Are they just trying to be nice? On another occasion, on a group gaming session night, someone says that we should get together for a movie. Has that person reached out at all? Nope. I am just trying to understand.

I would like for people to be excited when they see me. I would like to a priority to someone. Even on my birthday I have to schedule around other people. No one sings or provides a cake. I feel unappreciated. This seems to be a common theme as well. Since I do not have kids or a spouse, I feel that my time and schedule is taken for granted. Things get moved around and I am expected to just comply. I can have plans even if they do not involve other people or going somewhere. My time is just as valuable.

My mind continuously gnaws at this (yes, I tend to overthink) and I do not know what to do. I think I am likeable enough. I don’t believe I am an asshole. I just do not get it.