Busy- what an overused word. People use it by default to describe any time where they didn’t prioritize something, or they forgot something, or they just plain didn’t want to do something. It is unbelievably frustrating hearing people say this but then knowing full well they were doing something else instead. For example, “Oh I did not have time to read the book.” Well Gertrude, yes you did have the time but you chose to do something else instead of read. You chose to go out for drinks after work. You went to your kid’s soccer practice. You watched TV.
Now I get it. Kids are a totally valid priority over reading, if that is what you value but do not say you were too busy because that is a cop out. Say “I prioritized my kids sports over reading so that is why I was not able to finish it.” “I want to go out for drinks with this friend I haven’t seen in 6 months.” I totally get it! It totally makes sense but take ownership of your decisions. Do not fall back on the Americanism of “I was too busy.” That is just lazy and insincere. Stand up proud and be enthused with your decision making. Be open and honest about what you value and what you want to spend your time on.
This is something that is pervasive in our culture. We think that being busy is a sign of success and worth. If you don’t have a second of the day you can claim as your own “you have made it.” If you ignore or ditch people you care about, because you were “busy” then that is the gold standard of the top rung of society. If only we were more comfortable in talking about our priorities and building our calendars around what we value. We might find that the truth will allow us to grow our relationships and truly understand what we want to be spending our time on.
Granted, I haven’t been busy in a while. I do not have a partner or kids or a house. I work from home in an apartment…alone. My priorities are different than other people I know. But I am still able to declare what my priorities are and what I time can be spend on. We all have 24 hours in a day and to be brutally candid, the only thing we absolutely must do in this life is die. Everything else is a choice. It might not seem like it but it is. There will be consequences but the options are still there. You can choose not to put your children in activities for multiple reasons and that might mean more money/time for other things, but it also might mean your child will miss out on making friends and building skills. Choices. Own them.
All I am saying is replace the word with busy with a multitude of other options. I prioritized. I chose. I decided. I did. Own your calendar and decisions. Be declarative of your time.